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The Megaphone Sits Down for Teatime with Twinkles Trombley

Features Satire

The Megaphone Sits Down for Teatime with Twinkles Trombley


The Megaphone is committed to bringing the students of Southwestern University the most important news on campus. So, we’ve invited one of the biggest movers and shakers at SU, the distinguished Twinkles Trombley for a live interview!

Augustus: “First of all, I’d just like to say that it’s such an honor to meet you ma’am.”

Twinkles: “Ruff! Woof! Arf! Woof!”

Augustus: “Thank you Twinkles, you’re too kind, let’s move on to the first question: What’s your opinion on the campus dining hall?” 

Twinkles: “Woof! Woof! Ruff! Arf! Ruff! Ruff! Woof!”

Augustus: “You say the staff is excellent but there’s a grievous lack of dog focused options?” 

Twinkles: “Woof! Arf! Arf!”

Augustus: “Well, you wouldn’t be the first person on campus to complain about the food, but I agree; raw bones is an addition to the menu that most students would greatly appreciate, however I’m less enthused about the idea of live squirrels running around Comms.” 

Twinkles: “Woof! Ruff! Woof!”

Augustus: “Why would students chase them?”

Twinkles: “Woof! Woof!”

Augustus: “It would promote better exercise habits? I’m not sure about tha-” 

Twinkles: “RUFF! RUFF! RUFF!”

Augustus: “My apologies, I didn’t mean to question your judgem-”


Augustus: “You’re going to tell President Trombley to expel me? Isn’t that a little far?” 

Twinkles: “Ruff! Woof! Woof!”

Augustus: “Unless I give you how many belly rubs?” 

Twinkles: “RUFF!” 

Augustus: “Look, can we discuss this later? arguing mid-interview is highly unprofessional.”

Twinkles: “Woof…….”  

Augustus: “Ok,next question, do you have any plans for Halloween this year? After all, you are a fashion icon of Southwestern and trends are certain to follow in your wake.” 

Twinkles: “Arf! Woof!” 

Photo taken by President Trombley

Augustus: “A mystery? Fascinating, want to give us any hints about your costume?”

 Twinkles: “Woof! Woof!”

Augustus: “Fireworks are going to be involved? What does that even mean? Nevermind, let’s move to the final question.”

Augustus: “Final question: if you had to give one piece of advice to SU students, what would it be?”

Twinkles: “Hmmm, that’s a hard one kiddo, but I’d say you gotta chase the squirrels in your heart, not the ones in the trees.”

Augustus: “Wait–you could speak English this whole time!?!?”

Twinkles: “Uhhhhhh…… RUFF! RUFF! WOOF!” 

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