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Student Legitimately Gets Killed by Midterm Grades

Satire

Student Legitimately Gets Killed by Midterm Grades

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Last week, just before Spring Break commenced, an SU student passed away due to his midterm grades. Aijus Kant, a junior at SU, received his grades in his accounting class last Wednesday, suddenly fainted and passed away.

“It took the class by complete surprise,” Dr. Hardus Tess reveals, “I was handing out tests and after Aijus received his test, he fainted and suddenly passed away. I am still shaken by this turn of events.”

According to eye-witnesses, Kant’s class was visibly disturbed and shocked when he suddenly fainted.

Gottyu Broe, Kant’s best friend and classmate recollects, “Everyone was grimacing about their own test results and then suddenly, we all heard a sudden thud. I glanced to my right and I just see Aijus collapsed on the floor. His eyes were rolled back into his head as his hands still firmly clasped onto his exam. Several girls started screaming as he started to foam from the mouth. I tried my best to wake him up and someone else tried to resuscitate him but to no avail… After paramedics arrived, they confirmed his death and pronounced him dead.”

Paramedics diagnosed that the cause of Kant’s death was due to the emotional trauma from his midterm grades. They also explained that his final statement, which was “why?” written in blood next to his grade, seemed like compelling evidence.

Kant had gotten a 69 on his midterm, just a point away from passing his midterm. It is suspected that he was devastated about missing the passing mark by a single point. Several students in the accounting class revealed that Tess was well-known for her lack of extra-credit and hard tests. Many students lamented that the worse part of her classes was that there was barely any grades in the class. For this class, the two major grades were only the midterm and final. There are only a sprinkle of other minor grades that barely affect the final results.

After this ordeal, many teachers were left contemplating if their classes were way too stressful and unfair for students. Many classes are currently in the process of reevaluation and revamping to avoid an unfortunate death like Kant’s from recurring.