Much is known about esteemed 16th President of Southwestern University Skandera Trombley, but what many fail to realize is there is still much we do not know. One’s true character can’t be determined until we discover and examine the motivations and passions that drive a person to make their decisions. Today we will explore the secrets and shocking information our informants have uncovered on President Trombley, and we will let you decide whether or not these actions are justified or sinister.

When it comes to someone’s actions it is important to start by looking at their background. When it comes to backgrounds the first thing that comes to mind are those backdrops that are used for school pictures or prom photos. When we see these backdrops typically they have simple designs such as sparkles, fireworks and flowers. Flowers make people think of  bees. One of the most impressive species of bees is the Apis cerana japonica, also known as the Japanese Honey Bee. Japanese Honey Bees have an amazing method they use to defend themselves from hornets. This defense is called a “bee ball’, and what the bees do is they cover the wasps and start flapping their wings frantically, slowly raising their body heat and cooking the wasp. Speaking of cookies there is nothing worse than biting into a delicious chocolate chip cookie and finding nothing but bitter raisins embedded in the cookie, it truly is a sin. 

Cookies are amongst many sweet baked goods, along with banana bread, cake, and cupcakes. There was a trend back in 2019 where people would cut cupcakes in half in order to make them easier to eat. What they would do is cut the cupcake in half horizontally and then flip the top half upside down in order to make a cupcake frosting sandwich. When it comes to sandwiches none is more iconic than the $5 footlong provided by Subway. There was a recent scandal where it was discovered that the “footlong” was actually less than 12 inches, or a foot. After such a scandal came to light, it begs the question of whether or not anything we learn from businesses or the media can be trusted. Trust is something that is absolutely required for any relationship, especially a romantic one. Trust can be shown by being vulnerable around one another. This can be achieved by putting yourself in an incredibly dangerous situation and having your partner decide whether or not you get injured. One of the most common injuries amongst the elderly is carpal tunnel, an injury that comes with pain forming in your wrist. The most common causes for carpal tunnel are excessive typing, or for the elderly, crafts that require lots of wrist movement, the most common being knitting and crocheting. So next time you ask Nana for that pair of socks, think of all the pain you’re causing her. 

Socks can be made out of many different materials. The most common being cotton and polyester, but some people use animal fur. One of the softest animal furs happens to be that of the chinchilla, who has over 20,000 hairs per square inch of fur. Their fur is so dense that parasites like fleas and ticks usually suffocate when they try to infect chinchillas. In addition to this, chinchillas take sand baths instead of regular ones, because their fur is so difficult to dry and can lead to bacteria forming. Other animals with soft fur include the goats, rabbits, sheep, alpacas, and llamas. The name Obama rhymes with the word llama, and also happens to be the last name of the first black president of the united states. The former president met the love of his life Mrs. Michelle Obama at the age of 28 at a law firm. So for those of you who have yet to meet your one and only, try local law firms, as they are truly romantic. Speaking of presidents, that brings us back to President Trombley, who is the 16th President of Southwestern University. Wait, what were we talking about? Ah yes, Happy April Fools! Stay safe and have a great day.