From KJ:

My Dearest Pirates, 

We know college is a scary time. It’s a time of change, and finding yourself, and learning just how many classes you can skip before it starts to affect your grade. It’s also a time where connections are said to be the most important thing you can make. In all honesty, making connections is far easier said than done, especially when everyone is just trying to get by. My fellow pirate, Sally, and I are here to offer you our unique, yet similar experiences on finding our communities. 

I feel like it’s only proper to tell you a little bit about myself, as we are going on this journey together. Hi, my name is KJ. I came to Southwestern at the ripe age of 18 with the possession of an Associate’s degree, meaning that I was supposed to be a fully fledged adult before I turned 20. A failed class and a change in major got me an extra semester of being a pirate, but still, my time here is shorter than most students. I am active president of Pirates 4 Pride, and the person responsible for ending their articles with #besouthwestern. 

Now that we are better acquainted, I can tell you about how I found my people here at SU. I met my lovely roommate through Instagram. I know that sounds like something you don’t want to do, but hey, it worked out for me. I wouldn’t trade living in a small and dusty dorm with one of my favorite people for the world; it truly was the best experience. Now, I also got extremely lucky with my randomly assigned suitemates. These strangers turned into people I can’t imagine living without. 

Here’s where things start to get interesting. On the very first day of Welcome Week, a random person asked to sit with me in the crowded dining hall. He asked me my major, which at the time was psychology, and after telling him this, he then followed up by asking me what my favorite mental illness was. This stranger turned into my best friend. I met some more people throughout this semester, but none that I really connected with. That all changed at the end of October, where our group of five became eight. The funny thing about being best friends with the most outgoing freshman was that eventually his friends became mine as well. With the addition of these three people, there was always someone to talk to, someone to cry to, someone’s shoulder to rest a tired head on, and someone to make sure you never ate a meal alone. The next semester we added another member, and I have never felt so at home in my life. 

All nine of us didn’t return this year, which brought a series of challenges, especially because one of those people was my best friend. While the absence of these people leaves a hole in my heart, the new year brought more people to meet. I finally befriended that one Megaphonian I thought was cool, and suddenly I had a person that I did everything with. I’ve also met a few wonderful freshmen, and two of them really stick out to me. 

I’d be remiss if I didn’t shout out our lovely team of Megaphonians. I may be biased, but we are a pretty cool group of people, especially because several of the people mentioned above are a part of the team. 

All of this to say, talk to the people you live with, sit with strangers, tell the person that sits next to you in class that you like their shirt. Join that club even if you’re scared, no,  especially if you’re scared. Smile at the people you encounter, leave your mark. You only have so much time here, it’s important that you make the most of it and #besouthwestern. 

From Sally:

Hi Pirates! I am thrilled to offer my own experience finding “my people” at Southwestern, and I’ll begin as KJ did, by introducing myself. My name is Sally, and I arrived to Welcome Week at SU as a 43 year old transfer student returning to college after a 23 year hiatus. How I left higher education the first time, and what I did before returning are another story, but suffice it to say that I came to SU with a veritable abundance of life experience already. I was mid-divorce from a man I had been married to for 18 years, and I was broken in a number of ways. I was navigating financial challenges, housing upheaval, and grieving the loss of my heartpup, Rahne, because my ex wouldn’t let me see her anymore. I spent a lot of time feeling different and alone that first semester. Then, in the spring, I met a group of 4 students in Climate Change Biology who, for the first time, made me feel like part of the student body here at SU. When they saw me sitting alone, one of those four students invited me to sit at their table. Their simple invitation changed everything. I will be grateful to those students forever – for their kindness, openness, and for caring about who I was!

Buoyed by my newfound sense of kinda-belonging, I applied for Summer Undergraduate Research with Faculty (SURF), and was invited to participate in Dr. Bednar’s project, Placing Memory. Over the summer, I got to know my fellow students on this project, one of whom just happened to be the editor of The Megaphone! As we bonded over cute nails and the absurdity of life that summer, she also invited me to join Megaphone and I met my MegaFAM. I joined a few other student orgs and I leaned into being present on campus in a way that I didn’t know how to do my first year. One of my favorite things about being a Megaphonian is the way that none of us are afraid to be who we are with one another. I have experienced an acceptance with my Megafam that I’ve rarely found anywhere else, and I look forward to meetings every week. 

Just recently I was faced with the reality of graduating in May and leaving SU. I was overwhelmed with both gratitude and grief. It’s been a wild ride – and one I wouldn’t trade for the world. I found my people, and you can, too! As KJ said, join that club that interests you, talk to people you don’t know yet, and let them see you. Be brave and step into that new opportunity, speak up in class, and invite that solitary student to come sit at your table. You may think you’re just being friendly, but you might actually be the person who gives someone the space and courage to imagine that they, too, can be part of a community. And y’all, that will be the beginning of the journey to finding their people. There are two kinds of family that we can be a part of; our blood family that we are born into, and friends you make who become your chosen family. I’m grateful to have found family at SU, and I’m a better me because of who y’all are. I’m writing through tears as I tell you that who I am today, and the joy I have found, is because of y’all. You know who you are. Thank you.