As I’m writing this, we are nearing Valentine’s Day, and I want you to know that you are so loved and valued in this life. Your worth has nothing to do with how you’re celebrating the holiday, whether you’re with a partner of some sort, friends, or on your own. I hope that you take care of yourself this February and always, however that looks for you specifically at any given point in time. Now, for the good stuff. 

As a teenager and/or college student in the 2020s, you’ve probably heard the term “situationship”. I, personally, hate that term with all that I am. I think it emphasizes society’s love of defining everything that we can, as opposed to focusing on the things we feel and experience. I miss the notion that relationships are important and worth having, rather than worth labeling. This doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships or attraction, but to any kind of relationship or attraction. Accordingly, I hate when people spread the idea that saying “I love you” too much or too soon makes it any less meaningful. In my humble opinion, I will say “I love you” to whoever I feel it towards whenever I feel it, because more love in this world won’t do any harm. 

It’s possible to have a relationship that involves actions that society doesn’t necessarily deem as actions that you do with friends, without labeling it as anything other than a friendship. However, I would like to acknowledge that some people benefit from the safety of labels. At the same time, labels aren’t necessary for everyone in every situation. These two things can coexist, and it’s important that they do coexist, for the safety and happiness of as many people as possible. We are all different people who need different things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Something that can make this difficult is that although we as a society are a long way from 40 years ago, expectations are still heteronormative and set in stone to a certain extent. 

In my case, I love so much, and I love so loudly, and that is not a bad thing. It is a part of who I am, and it guides how I go about my life and interact with everyone, whether or not I know them. Due to this, though, I’ve dealt with questioning my sexuality and attraction to different people, both in terms of specific people I know, as well as how I experience attraction in general. This doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with me, or you if you relate to this, it just means that we have some figuring out to do, and that’s alright. I personally don’t find labels very comforting at this point in time, but, as I mentioned before, it’s also okay if labels bring you comfort. 

For me, the amount of love that I feel within my body is an inherent part of my humanity. I love because I am human, and I am human because I love. This is not to say that people who experience love differently than I do aren’t human, or are lesser than I am, but I hope that my words may help others to feel seen. Even if you disagree with me completely, I hope that you have learned something about the different ways that people can experience life, specifically regarding love.